Life goes on...

I am buzzed on a few beers... Thinking that in this new year ii require a partner who is strong enough to handle to deal with me as I tell my traumatic herstory....

The week before Christmas.

It is Sunday evening and I will be working every day but one until next Sunday. I have my laundry, dishes, and shopping done. I am relaxing here with Christmas cartoons, candles, and wine. I hope that I am able to enjoy the next two weeks. My family does not get together because our memories are too painful, and my boys don't live local. So I will be alone for the most part. My plan for Christmas day is to have a pajama day. Since I will be working 8 hours every previous 3 days each. Wish me luck!

Good morning friends.

It is amazing how a nice dinner with good company can help give you a good nights sleep. I am feeling energized and happy this morning. Too bad it will be used up at work instead of doing the housework I could/should have done yesterday. Oh well, the dirty dishes are not going anywhere.

I hope that everyone has an awesome day!

A bit better

A friend reminded me to not sweat the small stuff and it is all small stuff. My biggest problem is that I keep everyone at arm's length while I truly want to love and trust. Nearly every person who was to love and protect me actually misused, abused, and messed with my head. So how do I trust again?

Right now I am feeling like a wart on the hand of humanity.  No matter how loving or gracious the act I hide myself because I feel ugly inside. The poisonous memories that I carry cause fear and shame, so much so that I refuse to allow anyone to love me. I feel cursed by the very walls that I have placed around my heart to survive...

I'm Back!

I have acquired a Kindle Fire. I am still learning how to use it, so bare with me as I become acclimated.

I have also requested a hotspot adapter for my desktop computer. Therefore, I should be able to get back into this rather quickly.

Wish me luck!