Daily Homework for Healing

Read these statements every day, until they actually become part of your thinking.

Do NOT memorize them. "Think straight, and you will feel great!"

1. I am a unique and precious human being, always doing the best I can, always growing in wisdom and in love.

2. I am in charge of my own life.

3. My number one responsibility is for my own growth and well-being. The more loving I am to myself, the freer I will be to love others.

4. I can choose healthy attitudes and opinions. The attitudes or opinions of others are their choice.

5. I make my own decisions and assume the responsibility for any mistakes I make. I learn and grow from my mistakes!

6. I am a person in my own right. My behavior may be appropriate or sometimes inappropriate, but that does not make me either a good or a bad person.

7. I am free to choose my attitudes about the things that happen to me. My degree of personal well-being depends upon my attitudes. Suffering is in inevitable; misery is optional.

8. I am capable of expressing myself honestly and effectively each day.

9. I am free of animosity or resentment.

10. My emotional well-being is dependent primarily on how I love myself, as well as my ability to accept love and affection from others.

11. I am kind and gentle towards myself.

12. I deserve to be treated with consideration and respect.

13. I live one day at a time, and I do first things first.

14. I am patient and serene for I have the rest of my life to continue growing.

15. Every experience I have in life-including those I don't like - contribute to my learning and my growth.

16. I am as important as any other person in the world - not more so, but not less either.

17. It is human to make mistakes. Mistakes prove only that I am imperfect - and it is OK to be human and imperfect.

Author Unknown

OK...

Let me share some other's writing as I regain my voice....


Thoughts to Live By...

I am reading more and dusting less. I am sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time at work. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I am trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I am not "saving" anything. We use the good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first tulip of Spring. I wear a good outfit to the grocery store and even dab on some make-up and run a comb through my hair. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28. 59 for one small bag of groceries. I am not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for the clerk in the hardware store and tellers at the bank. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I am not sure what my friends would have done had they known that they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have called family members and a few close friends. They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for the past squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, or for whatever their favorite food was. I am guessing; I will never know. It is those little things left undone that would make me angry if I know my hours were limited. Angry because I had not written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my spouse and children and parents often enough how much I love them. I am trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Everyday, every minute, every breath, truly is a gift from somewhere where love is pure and unconditional.

It has been a while....

Attempting to find my healthy voice. While that is processing let us appreciate other voices.

Plant a seed.....

Self.....

EPIPHANY!!

The reason I was addicted to relationships while not allowing myself to be loved, was because my parents never showed us love. I never had the opportunity to learn how to accept love yet needed it disparately. Now after 7 years with my third husband and countless lovers I am finally learning to accept the fact and reality that he loves me unconditionally. Wow, Go Me!! Search for your root cause and you will heal from the root up. To Blossom into a New You!

How far I have come....

Just a year ago, I was spiraling out of control into a dark abyss of fear and self hate. I had cut off all my hair in what I call a "Brittany Spear's" moment.

This photo I took right after doing buzzing all my hair off, August 2011. Trying to tell myself it was an accident, that I only meant to trim it and the clippers slipped. I felt so insane that it is difficult to recall day to day emotions. I do recall harming myself when overwhelmed by the atmosphere at the library, patrons that were ungrateful and rude, coworkers that could not be happy. My guard and shields could no longer keep their negative energy from penetrating me.

Thankfully I began this blog and became more active on facebook. Utilizing both places to expel the negative and fill myself with positive energies.

This picture is from November 2011. As I began to feel better, you can see my eyes and face soften.

Here, I may have put on weight, however the smile does look genuine. April 2012

I have chosen this most resent picture for my current profile pic for both here and on facebook.

While I am feeling somewhat bored with being at home now, I don't feel ready to handle the public area of work. I do fine shopping or going to dinner, yet the thought of dealing with even one negative person makes me want to run and hide at the least, harm myself at my worst. Therefor I am still working with the Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation. They are arranging to set me up with a home office so that I will be able to work from home on my computer. This is a lengthy process and not for someone who needs to work quickly. Unless you are able to work with the public, then the process may go quicker.

Thanks for being here for me this past year. Blessings to all.