How far I have come....

Just a year ago, I was spiraling out of control into a dark abyss of fear and self hate. I had cut off all my hair in what I call a "Brittany Spear's" moment.

This photo I took right after doing buzzing all my hair off, August 2011. Trying to tell myself it was an accident, that I only meant to trim it and the clippers slipped. I felt so insane that it is difficult to recall day to day emotions. I do recall harming myself when overwhelmed by the atmosphere at the library, patrons that were ungrateful and rude, coworkers that could not be happy. My guard and shields could no longer keep their negative energy from penetrating me.

Thankfully I began this blog and became more active on facebook. Utilizing both places to expel the negative and fill myself with positive energies.

This picture is from November 2011. As I began to feel better, you can see my eyes and face soften.

Here, I may have put on weight, however the smile does look genuine. April 2012

I have chosen this most resent picture for my current profile pic for both here and on facebook.

While I am feeling somewhat bored with being at home now, I don't feel ready to handle the public area of work. I do fine shopping or going to dinner, yet the thought of dealing with even one negative person makes me want to run and hide at the least, harm myself at my worst. Therefor I am still working with the Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation. They are arranging to set me up with a home office so that I will be able to work from home on my computer. This is a lengthy process and not for someone who needs to work quickly. Unless you are able to work with the public, then the process may go quicker.

Thanks for being here for me this past year. Blessings to all.