Quandary.....

I apologize to all my readers for having had writers block the past several weeks. I am not sure if I should attribute it to the Abilify medication or the insomnia that has accompanied it. Over all I am feeling well mentally. My fear and anxiety is the lowest it has been in over a year. However my comfort level has me having an alcoholic beverage now and again in order to fit into the crowd that I share time with now and again. I don't feel that way around all my friends but I feel a need to when I go to a restaurant with my husband and he chooses to drink. Or our company does. I guess at times I am still that teenage girl still trying to fit into a place that maybe I don't belong..... All in all, I am feeling confused about feeling "normal" and frightened on whether or not I am capable to rise above my situation and into a new stronger personality willing and able to be my "Self".