Still not sleeping well. This white screen makes my eyes hurt. the only thing I have been doing in playing facebook games. My birthday is in two days and I don't even which to celebrate. Ron and I are to celebrate tonight because he has a commitment on Sunday. I don't want to do anything. I so dislike the nothingness of my life yet will not allow myself to go and enjoy. Whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch. I am good at that, no?
I am to go to a funeral this morning before my appointment for the spa. I won a message and facial. Then after lunch I am to go to talk with vocational rehabilitation people about the next step to me acquiring some sort of employment. Why do I fear life so? I use to be such an adventurer. I use to laugh in the face of fear. Now I am tired and don't wish to fight anymore. Is it possible to have an abundant life without fighting? So many teachers say not to fight the enemy but to acknowledge and walk away. That feels like such poppycock right now. yet there is no energy to fight. nor ability to sleep.
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