Good evenin', Hope this find every one hanging in there, whether by 2 hands or one finger as long as you are hanging in! I have had a long day. I awoke at 0430 this morning, tried to lay back down at 9. I couldn't get back to sleep. So I sat back down in front of the computer and taught myself some more stuff. Don't ask me what stuff, but I do know I did new stuff. I remember getting frustrated. Then I remembered I am better at kick boxing than the computer and laughed.
Coming to know all the many 'friends' that I have touched and touched me thru their laughter, wisdom, tears, and grace has been most empowering to me. While I am feeling stronger/calmer, it was most difficult to go do couple errands today. I renewed the tags on the Honda and stopped at the ATM. BMV wasn't bad because they weren't terrible busy and at the counter was one of the many angels in my life. I did not know she was working there. When I first saw her as I walked in I thought,"Idont' want to see anybody I know." Then after a deep breath I realized how calming she can be for me. (In a smiley, fun kinda way) The gal next to her called me, which was OK. She asked how work was. "I haven't been there in about a month." I replied.
"I knew I had not seen you in a while. I have become a regular again." she said
"That is a good thing. Panic attacks, I am struggling with." nodding my head. Val nodded back knowingly.
"I guess I had my fill of the public," laughingly.
"I was gonna say, 'You done your time, baby, done your time.'"
I chucked as I left not breathing to bad, made it to the truck, locked my door and settled in to go to the ATM.
At the bank there was only one parking spot. Right next to the door, this is a walk-up ATM, Perfect. A woman pulls up into the handicap spot next to me. I hurry as to not have to wait if she wanted the machine. She looked at me displeased. Starting my transaction she comes thru and hits me with the door. Nice huh? I am attempting to go as quickly as I can and she goes thru to the inside bank. My chest is hurting now. I tell myself to breath. My hands are not working right. I throw down my keys to try to work my hands better. I almost tear up. I press a wrong button and have to start again. I manage to finish, in what was probably record time, but felt like an hour. I gather everything. Rush to the truck and the door is locked. Fumble the keys again, set in the truck, deep breath, deep breath, not too fast. You are alright. OK. Someone wants my parking spot. I back up hoping she has given me enough room. Once out of the way I do up my seat belt. Hoping eating something solid will help me feel better, I call Joe Sundae's/Better Half Restaurant. I recognize the voice and address her by name. Order a patty melt and fries. I get the 4 minutes later. Not quite done. that is OK, not many people that time of day. I sit at the counter and wait. Pay and lovingly give each the girls a quarter. They know I tip well when I sit and eat. So they accept graciously and one heads straight for the gumball machine delighted. It was so sweet. I was glad to make her smile.
I got into the truck, drove the 2 blocks home and huffed up my 3 flights of stairs. After catching my breath I chowed down. Leo, my male cat was not impressed. Good more for me. Then cleaned up my plate, me and took my 3pm meds. Hot tea and facebook here I come. Worked on some more stuff. About 4pm Leo decides he needs some attention. I scoop him up and we go nap on the guest bed until Ron comes home from work. He is in and gone within a half hour to see his youngest in her soccer tournament. He is disappointed that I will not come, but getting use to it. Even when I felt well I didn't do many sports appearances. With it in the low 40's and high winds, you know I ain't going to stand out in no field. I know my limits and I am not in a mood to test them. So there.....
I believe that is enough of a rant for me this evening. Be Blessed
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