How can
I say this, because I am Mary Magdalene?
I have never been paid for it, but up until about four years ago, it was
rarely beautiful. It was a physical act
for physical pleasure, a way to escape reality.
It was my total self-worth. If I
couldn’t connect with you sexually, I didn’t feel of value. Everything else in life was duty, not a
response to Love. Work, children, husband,
and home, it all was what was expected of me.
So I went through the motions, thinking maybe I would find joy in them,
but I had no true Light. Just artificial
light, religion flowed through my mechanical self, doing what was expected of
me. I did find joy in my sons, for a
time. Then the haunting of my self-worth
indicator (sex) took over again. My
self-worth, of course, went to an all time low.
But today, making love with a friend is an extension of my Love for
them. It is not my self-worth, just an
extension of self-love. As long as we
act in caring, respectful, honest ways toward one another, it is not a
violation of self and therefore not wrong for me, for my lover, not against
God.
Blasphemy!
You say. Why, because I feel and have
more peace and joy in my heart, mind, and body than ever before? Because the threat of mental instability has
dissipated, no longer lingering, taunting me that I am not loved nor worthy of
love?
Lord,
have mercy! Am I not only worthy of
Love, I am Love. I am part of God
Almighty, made in His image and likeness, filled with His Holy Spirit!! This was not made Truth to me until I was
able to accept the fact that I am a sexual creature. “Own it or it will own you!” was once quoted
to me.
I am
not saying this Truth is right for you, but don’t judge me by it,
but by the
fruit I bare.