Too much about Me....

I am in an angry phase with my husband. I have gone from grateful for all he does to angry that I am dependent on him. Instead of being grateful for his patience, his kindness, and all the work he does, I am angry that I feel like I cannot do this for myself. Angry that when we hold hands I feel like a little girl that can't cross the street or find my way. His hand right now has no romance or sensual feeling, loving yes but in a big brother love that I have also been taught to distrust.

I hate him because I don't know how to accept his unconditional love.

I hate that he is so good to me when I just want to run away and live by myself with 6 cats and my computer.

I hate that his unconditional love causes me emotional work that is painful and exhausting.

I hate myself for trying to use his few faults against him to justify my running away.

I am not going any where. I really do Love him. The acknowledgment of all this anger helps take away it's sting.

I feel better now. Not great, better. We will get to great later.

Namaste