Struggling...

I am feeling rather confused today. Part of me is saying, "follow your dream" another part is say, "what is your dream" and yet another is saying, "you are ill and weak" and still another is saying, "Think positive, think strong and you will be strong." At different moments each is true, yet what will I allow to rule? My mental illness (PTSD) has cost me my job of eleven years and it's benefits. I am unsure of what I can handle in a work situation. I will be going through an evaluation of my skills to help me find work. That is coming up in a couple weeks. I am losing patience of sitting here waiting for life to happen. Yet I know not what to do to bring about the change I need. I don't even know what that change is...