I survived this past week of clerical assessments, not with flying colors, but I managed. It is good that it was not a job and only a test of what I could handle both skill wise and physically. While I know how to handle Word fairly well, my skill level with the other Office programs is beginner with a high level of learning the software. On the physical/psychological factors I was terribly distracted by any exterior noise and the stress of the reception desk is more then I am willing to handle at this point. So all in all I am glad it was not a job, because I wouldn't still have the job if it were.
The next step in the vocational rehabilitation is to review the report written by my instructor of this past week. Utilizing his recommendations I will go to the Job Developer to see what jobs are available in the area that fit my ability situation. I am both anxious and eager to go back to work, trying diligently to be kind and patient with myself.
For some reason I just had a troubling memory about how when I was about 13 years I would put myself in situations that set me up to be gang banged. Following that was how my brother (one year older) would take me to parties and I was giving all the drugs I cared to handle so that I would then be passed around to any of the boys there that wanted me. Just a memory, not a flashback, this fact does not say who I am today, it only has made me stronger.
As bad as I have been treated by some men, I still realize there are some good ones out there, because I have one. He is not perfect, but then again, neither am I.
Have a Blessed Day! Namaste
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