Medication mess up.....

I had begun to have difficulty sleeping and frightening episodes of despair. When yesterday I received a package from my prescription medication provider that contained medication I had said not to send. At first sight I freaked because that medication usually costs me over $400.00 for a 3 month supply. Then looking at the bill I see I am not charged, yet I cannot stop being upset. I call to complain about receiving medication that I had told them I did not require as my doctor was changing me to something else. As I am attempting to reach a live person through the automated voice messaging I am becoming more and more irritated. By the time a receive a human I am crying. I am sure it is more than just the medication mistake, yet I am unable to calm myself. With a shaky voice I proceed to tell the operator my situation. I am blessed to have reached a most compassionate female operator that at one point asks if I am alright. I hesitate because I don't feel alright. I am shaking, fighting back from out and out weeping. Once we resolve the issue of it being sent and the fact that I had reached my deductible, that being the reason I was not charged, we decide they will send a special mailing container so I can send them the pills to be destroyed. Once the phone is hung up I allow myself to weep. Pacing I have this dread. I start saying out loud, "I am someone's hope. I am someone's hope." because the feeling that I was too damaged and too sad to be of help to anyone was attempting to overwhelm me. I begin to tidy up a few things and come across my current medication list. I realize with the change from a time released medication to a twice a day tablet that I had not been taking two pills two times each day but only one pill two times each day. I go to look at the medication bottle to confirm my thoughts. Yep, I had cut my dosage in half for the past week and didn't realize it. I called my doctor to have the nurse note my chart, just encase I have a episode that hospitalizes me, it would be good for them to have a reasoning start point. With just the fact that this has occurred I am being kinder to myself as to not allow my urges to get the better of me. Now with having corrected my medication dosage and expressed myself here I feel that all will be good as I start sleeping better again. Thanks for listening.