As November begins, I find myself collecting my thoughts as if they had been thrown like confetti. Bringing them together to see a clearer picture of leaves, not confetti. Leaves that are spent by their season in the weather. The only season they have to be birthed, live, and die. They will spend their after life feeding the world around them. The food they give is their own decaying self.
We as humans have many seasons to be birthed, live, and die again and again. Some folks will have more abundant lives as others will have less of a death. Each season of life, each major choice we make, each tragedy we endure, every trauma that we are soiled with, is a season. There is a birth of us; first our natural birth, then our emotional birth. An emotional birth comes when we are faced with a situation that stirs our emotions and we must learn to deal with both emotion and situation. When a child is continually given their own way or never allowed to show emotion without punishment that child stops growing emotionally.
It is said that when a person is told "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all" or "big boys/girls don't cry" they are also told that their feelings don't matter. They DO matter, more than we may ever understand. Therefor if you find yourself at a loss of emotion or an overwhelming amount of emotion, consider if your emotions were ever allowed to grow.
Another reason our emotions may be stopped from maturing is, becoming sexually active or start using drugs, at an early age. If the sexual activity was not by your choice you may start using drugs to numb the pain. Even if the activity was your choice it might had been the incorrect choice. I won't tell you it was wrong because that can lead to more shame or guilt, which again stops your emotions in order to survive.
Survival is our mind, body, and Spirits biggest goal. They will adapt in situations that other people will say "how can you walk out of your home after such trauma." Well, living in fear is not living. I know because I have bouts of agoraphobia, fear of public places. I am currently in my worst episode as I am writing this. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel because I desire to do more than survive. I desire to live life abundantly, and that is the plan. Sometimes heavily damaged souls need a 'time out.'
So if you are feeling like you too are entering a new season, determine which it is. Spring with a new life a head of you. Summer, living the abundant life, soaking up the sunshine? Autumn when things are cooling off and leaves are falling to the ground to nourish you during your hard winter? Allow your leaves of emotion to flow. Find a place where you can cry, scream, pound on the floor, whatever it takes to feel. Please stop hiding from your truth. Only you can be you, don't let anyone tell you it is right or wrong. Your Spirit will tell you that by the joy that it brings. Blessings on All
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